Hits and Misses

I think the writing I felt most successful on was some of my poetry. It felt like I put a lot of thoughtful work into it.

Dred

Red, color of blood.

Red, anger in bulls.

Red, rose in the mud.

Red, hot heat like fire.

Red, color of stress

when stakes are dire. 

Dred is a hit for me because I think revision made it more powerful. I didn’t really appreciate revision until I rewrote this poem.

Idylls

I like riddles.

I wonder if

there is a riddle

about a fiddle.

I wonder if

there is a riddle

about a cat

playing a fiddle.

I wonder if

there is a riddle

about a little  

cat named piddle

playing a fiddle.

I wonder if

there is a riddle

about a little

                           cat named piddle

on the middle

of a bus

playing a fiddle.

I wonder if

there is a riddle

about a little

                            cat named piddle

on the middle

of a bus

playing a fiddle.

Even if not,   

                           I like riddles.

 Idylls is a hit for me because I had not really considered the impact of formatting before. I think formatting helps to make it into what I wanted it to be.

Magic

I am trapped. It's very dark.

I am no dog, nor a lark.

I eventually get out.

Commotion is all about.

Two human beings see me.

They take me home. They name me.

Magic is a hit for me because it conveyed the feeling I wanted representing my kitten finding a home. I didn’t make a lot of changes to it, but mostly refined, keeping it simple and innocent, like a kitten.

I was also proud of my work on Purple Hibiscus.  I cannot include a lot of it here because I made a lot of videos and pdfs, but I thought my Side Dish on eye language was a hit. I learned a lot of what I had missed doing correctly before and felt like I was back on track:

Purple Hibiscus Eye Language

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie uses eyes powerfully in Purple Hibiscus as a way of speech.  Jaja and Kambili’s speech has been stunted at home. Their silence is prized as their father brags they are not like modern loud children to Ade Coker.  Kambili and Jaja are stunned when their cousins speak freely at Aunty Ifeoma’s, especially at the dinner table. Mama is beaten when she speaks out that she may not be well enough to visit Father Benedict.

Jaja and Kambili found their own form of language through their eyes.  Throughout the first 2/3 of the book, they communicated to each other through their language of the eyes.  This was their own way of communication, safety, and support under Papa’s roof:

“I wish we still had lunch together, Jaja said with his eyes. ‘Me, too,’ I said, aloud” (22). “Jaja spoke to me with his eyes: What if she vomits?” (30). “’Before noon,’ And with his eyes he said, We can spend time together then” (59). “Yes,” he said, and his eyes said that he knew I did, too. And I could not find the words in our eye language to tell him how my throat tightened at the thought of five days without Papa’s voice, without his footsteps on the stairs” (108). “I asked him with my eyes if he had remembered the lie to Papa-Nnukwu, and he nodded” (105). “’Yes,’ he said, and his eyes said that he knew I did, too. And I could not find the words in our eye language to tell him how my throat tightened at the thought of five days without Papa’s voice, without his footsteps on the stairs” (108). “My eyes met Jaja’s. His eyes were watery, full of suggestions. No! I told him, with a tight blink” (125).

As Jaja began to find his own voice, he began to communicate less with Jaja in their private eye language:

“I wanted to talk about it, but Jaja looked away when I brought it up with my eyes, and he changed the subject when I spoke of it” (202). “I turned to look at Jaja. I wanted our eyes to meet, so I could tell him how much I had wanted to spend Easter in Nsukka, how much I had wanted to attend Amaka’s confirmation and Father Amadi’s Pascal Mass, how I had planned to sing with my voice raised. But Jaja glued his eyes to the window, and except for muttering the prayers, he was silent until we got to Enugu” 252.

By the time Papa died and they returned home, Jaja is solemn and doesn’t use the eye language at all:

“I turned to Jaja after she left and tried speaking with my eyes. But Jaja’s eyes were blank, like a window with its shutter drawn across” (289).

When someone is in danger, they must protect their vulnerability.  Jaja protected his vulnerability by turning his eyes to wood, making Kambili doubt their history.

“He stops chewing and stares at me silently with those eyes that have hardened a little every month he has spent here; now they look like the bark of a palm tree, unyielding. I even wonder if we ever really had an asusu anya, a language of the eyes, or if I imagined it all.

I want to hold his hand, but I know he will shake it free. His eyes are too full of guilt to really see me, to see his reflection in my eyes, the reflection of my hero, the brother who tried always to protect me the best he could” (305).

But there is hope:

“‘Time is up!’ The guard comes in the room. Jaja says a brief, distant “Ka o di,” not making eye contact with either of us, before he lets the guard lead him away” (306).

Some readers may think he isn’t making eye contact because he has become too hardened. It seems Jaja doesn’t make eye contact because he has allowed hope to return. His vulnerability is becoming alive again. If he were to look at Kambili and Mama, he might break, he might cry.  He doesn’t want to break, he wants to be like Obiora. He bravely returns to prison. -But there is a life waiting outside for him. -A life with purple hibiscuses.

Adichie, Chimamanda Ngozi. Purple Hibiscus. Algonquin Books. 2012.

Finally, I thought my best work was my Purple Hibiscus Entrée. I felt like I had finally caught up to where I needed to be with a high school level English class.  I really enjoyed being able to make it a visual project and think I added more with the background and pictures I chose. 

My worst assignments are easily my three biggest, I am embarrassed to say. My personal narrative, my research project and my literary analysis were not very good. The truth is, they were very demanding on my skills at the time. I was struggling with a lot of stuff, and I kept thinking, “I’ll do better tomorrow.” I didn’t understand I was getting further behind and that I wouldn’t be able to just catch up until it was too late. Then I had to work harder than I imagined making up the skills and time. I learned never to let that happen again. Going forward, I will make headway every day even if on some days it feels hard again.